Your Top 5

Who’s in Your Tribe

When was the last time you thought about your social circle, your friends, or your support team? In other words, who are the people that walk beside you, listen to you, encourage you and speak the truth to you even when it’s difficult?

I call this your tribe, and this tribe can be made up of friends from work, family members, and outside friends you meet along your way.  Other ways to find support might include parents of your kid’s friends, people from church, individuals within professional organizations or other like-minded groups you belong to. The people in your tribe can come from many different avenues and everyone’s tribe is different.  The most important factor is that you have a tribe.  People who love, support and encourage you through the good times and the bad! Likewise, your tribe members need you to love, support and encourage them.

We live in a time and age when there are more ways to communicate with others than ever before. Sadly, we live in a world where there is more loneliness and isolation than ever before. The internet is a great and wonderful tool. But that’s just it……it is a tool and was never designed to replace real live human contact.  We need real people in our lives.

Studies show that people who have close circles of friends and a healthy support system live longer lives.  I would add, quality of life is better when we share life with others.   The truth is, we all need people in our lives. People are the nutrients we need to live and thrive, writes John Townsend, in his book People Fuel.


A quick story……

My Monday morning started off by being awaken by a terrible dream at 2 am. As I lay awake reassuring myself that the dream was not real, I found it difficult to go back to sleep. So as one might guess, when I got up, I was tired. My to do list for the day had many items on it that required much focus. This Monday morning was not a good morning for unexpected events.   You guessed it……. the garage door opener broke, my husband needed a ride to work because his car would not start, and this happened in the first 15 minutes of dragging myself out of bed?

Also, on my to do list was a lunch date with two friends that had been on my calendar for a month. While I knew I didn’t have the extra time, the thought of cancelling didn’t seem like the right thing to do. So, I decided to move forward and keep the date. Besides, it would be good to catch up with friends and I had to eat.

What I didn’t expect was my lunch experience would enrich me with a beautiful gift.  I walked away from lunch feeling a deep sense a gratitude for the friends these two people have been for the last 20 years.  Together we have walked along side of each other through good times and tough times.  They have always been there to cheer me on and encourage me in ways only they can do. In turn, I have been given the privilege over the last 20 years to be a good listener and encouragement for them. Right now, one friend is going through a very difficult and scary season.  While I was not able to fix her problems when we talked over lunch, I was able to offer the best thing a friend can do and that is to be a good listener and offer encouragement in the areas I could.

As I walked away from lunch, my cup was unexpectedly filled, and I gave much thanks to these two friends! Thank you, my friends…. members of my tribe!

Coaching Tip

Research tells us that the top 5 people we spend the most time with will influence us the greatest.

Make a list identifying the top 5 people you spend the most time with.

Next, ask yourself the following questions:

?  When I walk away from a conversation or spending time with ________________ do I feel better than before?

Do I have to be careful about the topics I want to discuss around ________________________?

? Do I feel energized or do I feel exhausted when I walk away from _________________________?

? If I am feeling excited about something or really struggling with an issue, who do I want to share/discuss my situation with?

Based on your answers, how does the health of your tribe measure up?  Do you embrace who you have in your tribe or is it time to add some new friends?


Your life matters, and those you spend time with matters too!

Peace and Gratitude,


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