Do you find yourself avoiding people and situations because you know there’s a conversation that needs to take place? Would you rather do almost anything than face conflict? You are not alone. Having an uncomfortable discussion with someone can seem like the hardest thing in the world….. but it doesn’t have to be!
The number 1 principle is making sure your conversation contains words and a tone that expresses both TRUTH and LOVE.
Why? Speaking the truth in love:
- Allows the other party to experience your care and concern for the relationship
- Creates a safe and non-defensive environment
- Opens the door for you to comfortably express yourself
Step One: Love Start your conversation using a statement that expresses warmth, care, and concern first. This is important. Your goal is to create the best environment first. So, Love statement first, followed by Truth. Use one or combine the statements below. Better yet, create your own!
“I really value you as my friend/loved one” (Good for your personal relationships)
“This is really difficult for me to talk about” (Good for your business relationships)
“I want to be able to better understand you” (Good when already in the middle of a conflict)
“Is this a good time to have a difficult but truthful conversation” (Someone who angers easy)
Step Two: Truth State the facts or your personal need. No personal criticism or attacks.
Example 1: “I’m the only one who does any work around here. You are lazy and don’t care!” Instead: “I really value our relationship and I don’t want to continue to be resentful towards you and all the housework needing to be done. Would you be open to helping me with some of the household chores in the evening/weekends”?
Example 2: (supervisor who micromanages) “I believe in this company and really want to be a part of its future growth. I am confident that my skills and experience will allow me to do this. How can I help you to have the same level of confidence in me and my work”?
That’s it! Your turn to practice this two-step process. Think about a recent or current conflict and rehearse your conversation. Be brave…..You can do this. Love followed by truth!
Send me a success story. I would love to know how this helped you!
Your Life Matters,
If you found this to be helpful, please share!