I Should Have

Do you ever find yourself caught up in conversations like this?

Recently I have become more aware of a repeating phrase being used in the conversations taking place in my circle of friends, family and especially the conversations taking place in my own mind. The pattern, I call it……. The Would’ve Should’ve Could’ve Syndrome or the WSC Syndrome. It sounds something like this:

I wished I would have made that choice…….I should have done that…….I could have said that. In fact, I’m doing it right now. I should have started writing this article two days ago so I wouldn’t feel the pressure of finishing it by my deadline.

So, are these phrases helpful?

If you think back on the times you use these phrases mentioned above, are you aware of how often you are using them? What other words are you using with them? For instance, is this the norm for you to say to yourself, “You idiot, you should have______________? Or maybe you say something like this to yourself, “Oh wow, I see what I should have done. Next time, I’ll make that choice.”

While the decisions you make (or not make), have the ability to change a desired outcome in your life, we all know, you cannot go back and make changes to the past. Looking back over your decisions and choices allow you to see the scenario from beginning to end, but this doesn’t help you move forward if you are holding on tightly to the fact you made the wrong decision and keep beating yourself up.  Always remember, the decisions and choices you make are made based on the facts you have at the time you make them. No one gets to run ahead and see the future facts and then run back and make the best decision.

Additionally, I refuse to believe few (if any) people get up in the morning and say something like, “I think today I’m going to intentionally make wrong and bad choices for my life!” We all want what’s best for ourselves, and so beating yourself up and holding on to what you can’t change about yesterday is not helpful?

What if, from this day forward, you begin viewing the WSC phrases as growth opportunities? In other words, how would it be if you committed to accepting the choice  you made or wished you would have made yesterday  as a learning experience. Instead of holding on tightly to what you cannot change, you shift your focus to asking yourself, “What next steps do I need to make today, so I can move forward”? Letting go and taking the next step forward may just be the best choice you make today!

Coaching Tip
Always be aware of the self-talk going on in your mind and how tightly you are holding on to something that cannot be changed! Today is not too late! What choices can you make now to move forward?

Your Life matters always!
Peace and Gratitude,

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