Tammy Barnett

Category: Blog

Self Caring in a Messy and Complicated World

September is Self Care Awareness Month

If you would have asked me several years ago to define Self-Care, I would have thought back to the last time I had a manicure and pedicure.  Don’t Laugh, that was reality! Manicures and pedicures are great, but there is so much more to taking caring of ourselves.

Let’s face it… life is complicated.  The stress and energy needed to keep up with and care for family, home, and work can be overwhelming. On top of this, throw in the long term effects and  worry of the last two years or the poor choices a loved one continues to  make, and the idea of caring for ourselves can easily be shoved quickly to the side.

Who’s Right?

“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them to fit our own image.”   -Thomas Merton

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend who was struggling with a personal decision she needed to make. Coming into our conversation, my friend shared that she had been given lots of advice from other people about which was the right choice to make.  The struggle my friend was having was not with the choice she wanted to make, but rather with the unsolicited opinions of others that greatly interfered and influenced her.  My friend was left feeling confused and even guilty because the choice she wanted to make was not supported by others.

It’s All Your Fault

The Insanity of Blaming

I remember that moment like it was yesterday. Several years ago, I was struggling with a loved one’s self-destructive behavior. After venting about all the things wrong with my loved one, a wise mentor sat back in his chair across from me and breathed a big sigh. After a moment of silence, he spoke in a very calm voice…… “What are you doing to become healthier yourself”?   The reaction in my mind was immediate!  “What???? Are you kidding?  This was not my fault; it was all on my loved one.  Or was it”?

A new journey….

That day began a new journey for me. A journey that involved looking deeper into myself.

One Disappointment After Another

I went out to dinner looking forward to enjoying a delicious meal. As I studied the menu, I noticed a few new items had been added and they sounded really good based on the description given.  I made my choice and looked forward to experiencing a tasty new dish.  When my meal arrived, it looked and smelled wonderful, but after sampling the first bite it was clearly not what I was expecting.

Last week, the lawn service arrived in the morning to mow the lawn. When I went out to the backyard later that day, I discovered that one of the plants I had been caring for and was getting ready to bloom had been cut down by the weed eater.

Life Struggles Matter

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly but rarely admit the changes it has to go through to achieve that beauty” – Maya Angelou

It was a sunny spring afternoon. A man walked out into his backyard and found hanging on one of his bushes a large butterfly chrysalis.  There was no sign of life, but he looked forward to checking back the next day in hopes to find something new. Day after day passed and each time the man checked on the chrysalis, he was disappointed to find it remained hanging in stillness.

Then, one day when the man was just about to give up, he noticed some movement and there in the top of the chrysalis was a tiny hole.