Finding Balance and Peace in Daily Living
“We must make the choices that enable us to fulfill the deepest capacities of our real selves.” – Thomas Merton
Should I wear a mask? Should I take the summer trip out of state? Should I send my children to school in the fall? Should I take my child to daycare? What about going out to dinner….is it safe? My spouse and I disagree about so many issues right now… I am frustrated most days. My friends are at odds on what to believe, and I’m not sure either. The news media releases new information daily as science and the medical industry wavers back and forth. I am left without enough clear facts to help give me direction. My life seems so confusing right now.
These questions and thoughts have become the norm within my daily conversations with coaching clients and friends. Each person facing different issues and important life decisions. Every day and especially during this time of uncertainty, we are all faced with tough questions that require us to make the best and healthiest decisions for ourselves and our family.
So, if this is part of finding our new normal, how do we make decisions that help us move forward finding balance and peace for daily living?
Inviting in more Balance
Confusion, chaos, life dissatisfaction and failing to thrive are all indicators of living a life without balance. Imbalance creeps in when we live our lives making decisions based on what others believe is right for us instead of what we believe to be best and true for ourselves. Another way imbalance can affect our lives is when we make of habit of saying “yes” to someone or something, really wanting to say “no” but to do so will disappoint others or make them angry.
Thank about it for a moment…. Those times when your children yell back at you, or your partner or friends say or do something that disappoints or makes you angry. What’s at the core? Someone made a choice that the other one didn’t like, right?
Did you ever get scolded as a child when your decisions backfired? This may have come in words like, “See… I told you”. Did you ever get reprimanded by a teacher when you challenged an idea, an assignment, or a test result? Or maybe a boss didn’t like what you had to say or disapproved of a great idea for change? We all adopt patterns from being shut down by past experiences and sometimes listening to the opinions of other’s can be helpful, but when we wake up one day feeling stuck and lost in life, this is a sure sign that we are living life without balance.
Think balance comes easy? The answer is a big NO. We must practice often developing the skills it takes to live a life fully alive regardless of what’s going on around us or regardless of the choices other people are making for their own lives.
Living a balanced life asks us every day to evaluate the choices and the decisions we are making. Are we feeling pressured by someone else’s expectations or opinions? If these people did not factor in, what choice would we be making for our life?
“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” -Don Shula
Finding Peace with the Decisions You Make
In my experience of working with coaching clients, I have discovered that we are all created with the ability to make the best decisions for ourselves. Your answers are tucked deep inside you for every stage of life…But maybe you have lost the confidence to carry out these decisions? Or maybe you are hiding behind fear, afraid of what someone else may think? Finding peace with your decisions requires you to invest in yourself and become more aware of who you are and what’s important to you TODAY.
Understanding and acting on what’s important to you means responding to decisions guided by your own values……Not your family, not your friends, not your boss or anyone else, but what’s important to you! Your values are different from anyone else and only you can own them.
Living someone else’s life rather than your own, will always produce dissatisfaction, resentment, and many other life draining emotions and thoughts. However, decisions based on your own values (what’s important to you) gives energy, clarity, peace, and a more fulfilled life that feels balanced.
Often you will make decisions that happen to be ones that others agree with, but there are times when you will need to go against what others approve of. During these times, a good question to ask yourself is: “If other people’s opinions do not factor in, what do I feel is the best decision for my life right now”? Next step…..make the hard decision and be at peace with following your values and beliefs.
You can do this! Need someone to talk to, extra support, or help living a life following your beliefs and values? I would love to have a conversation with you!
Your Life Matters !
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