Giving to others, creating life balance, and setting healthy boundaries
(4 minute read)

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a kind and beautiful friend. It had been several months since we spoke and when I asked how things were going, my friend replied with a big sigh and said, “I am exhausted!” In addition to working full time and taking care of her home, she is raising two young children and a teen. This is enough to exhaust anyone.  Then, 6 months ago, her mom moved in and the thought of having some extra help from her mom immediately landed on my friend’s wish list. Unfortunately, the opposite has come true. My friend is now taking caring of her mom who has several health issues that demand more time than is available. In a hopeless tone my friend admitted to feeling really guilty right now because no matter what she does and how much she helps, it’s never enough.

Another friend reports that she no longer can accomplish all her workday tasks in the amount of time she is paid for. Her company will not pay overtime but expects all the daily job duties to be completed. In order to save her job, my friend has been clocking out and then finishing up the day’s requirements.

Still another friend reports that she works all day, comes home, prepares the meals, does the cleaning/laundry, family shopping, helps with homework, and anything else needing to be done. She feels resentment because her husband comes home after work and relaxes!

What do all these people have in common? The perfect storm for burnout. A future with ill health (physical and emotional) if something does not change!

Sounds easy to say something like, “Well why don’t you just make some necessary changes”? But anyone who has or is currently living in similar situations will agree it’s harder than it seems. Why? Because at the depth of who we are as humans, helpers, caregivers, and employees we want to do our very best and make a positive difference in the lives of those we help and serve. The problem is……we often do not realize or accept the fact we are all limited.

We are all limited by the number of hours in a day. We are limited by the amount of energy we have. We are limited by the amount of financial resources we have. We are limited by our ability to keep giving without filling our own tanks!

What about you? Have you adopted the lie that not being able to “do it all” equates to failure? Do you become disappointed at yourself when “it’s never good enough”? Are you afraid you may lose your job or the love of someone close if you start saying no, recognizing your limitations and taking care of you?  What is your reason for staying on the road to burnout?

Where to begin healing this lifestyle?

The key word is “begin.” This change process will take time. It probably took a while for you to get here, so be patient and kind with yourself, and begin allowing one small step and one small change to be enough for today.

BECOME SELF AWARE
Commit to being honest with yourself.
Recognize or go one step further by making a list of all your responsibilities. Once on paper, you may be surprised at all you do!
Identify your current limitations within these responsibilities. Remember: Be Honest

SELF CARE
What areas in your life are currently suffering? Physical, emotional, spiritual, workplace, relationships etc.
What activities can you begin to incorporate in order to bring more fulfillment and energy into your day to day life. Spend time really thinking about this one.
What do you need right now? If you need help, contact me and I’ll provide you with a list to check off!

SUPPORT
Who do you need to have a conversation with to ask for help? Maybe your spouse, your supervisor, or an outside care giving service?
Do you have the needed support from family and friends to help and encourage you and to hold you accountable to the changes you want to make?
Do you need outside professional help? A doctor, a life coach?

In the end, it is up to you to decide what you want. The good news is….. there is hope and lots of help when you make the choice to create and live your best life now!

Want additional support?  I would love to have a conversation with you!

Remember you and your life matters!

Peace and Gratitude,
Tammy

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