“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them to fit our own image.” -Thomas Merton
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend who was struggling with a personal decision she needed to make. Coming into our conversation, my friend shared that she had been given lots of advice from other people about which was the right choice to make. The struggle my friend was having was not with the choice she wanted to make, but rather with the unsolicited opinions of others that greatly interfered and influenced her. My friend was left feeling confused and even guilty because the choice she wanted to make was not supported by others.
I remember that moment like it was yesterday. Several years ago, I was struggling with a loved one’s self-destructive behavior. After venting about all the things wrong with my loved one, a wise mentor sat back in his chair across from me and breathed a big sigh. After a moment of silence, he spoke in a very calm voice…… “What are you doing to become healthier yourself”? The reaction in my mind was immediate! “What???? Are you kidding? This was not my fault; it was all on my loved one. Or was it”?
A new journey….
That day began a new journey for me. A journey that involved looking deeper into myself.
I went out to dinner looking forward to enjoying a delicious meal. As I studied the menu, I noticed a few new items had been added and they sounded really good based on the description given. I made my choice and looked forward to experiencing a tasty new dish. When my meal arrived, it looked and smelled wonderful, but after sampling the first bite it was clearly not what I was expecting.
Last week, the lawn service arrived in the morning to mow the lawn. When I went out to the backyard later that day, I discovered that one of the plants I had been caring for and was getting ready to bloom had been cut down by the weed eater.
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly but rarely admit the changes it has to go through to achieve that beauty” – Maya Angelou
It was a sunny spring afternoon. A man walked out into his backyard and found hanging on one of his bushes a large butterfly chrysalis. There was no sign of life, but he looked forward to checking back the next day in hopes to find something new. Day after day passed and each time the man checked on the chrysalis, he was disappointed to find it remained hanging in stillness.
Then, one day when the man was just about to give up, he noticed some movement and there in the top of the chrysalis was a tiny hole.
Last week I met up with a few friends on a beautiful sunny day. We sat in a beautiful garden under a large shade tree sharing with each other the fun things that had been going on in our lives. It was so wonderful to be outside in the fresh Florida air admiring the beauty all around and catching up with friends! As I was driving home later that day, I became aware of how energized I felt. The feeling of much positivity and gratitude within my soul made my “life energy tank” seem completely full.
What about You?
Ever have one of those energizing days? Or experienced one of those moments when someone unexpectedly tells you how much they appreciate you or pays you a compliment that makes you feel 10 feet tall?
