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COACHING WITH

Tammy Barnett

Category: Blog

Life Without Regrets

It has been a year and a half since my mom passed away.  The process of grieving has taught me much about the deep void that comes along once both parents are gone from this life. The grieving process has also invited me to spend much time thinking about and defining the meaning of a life well lived and what’s important.  So what is important?

In her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, Bronnie Ware shares inspiring stories and experiences during her time as a palliative caregiver. The people she cared for were all entering the end stage of their life. As each one looked back on their life, they discovered much about how they had lived,

Yes or No?

Making the decision to say yes or no is often difficult when it comes to offering help or caring for others.  Saying no can seem unloving, selfish, and unchristian like…… but often, saying yes doesn’t feel quite right either.

When we extend help to others through a balanced life around our own self-care and available resources, the result is typically a wonderful, feel good gift that we receive deep down inside our beings. Acts of altruism bring about happiness, energy, and many other positive emotions.

However, when our helping and caring goes beyond our own healthy limits, we can become fatigued, burned out, and even suffer from ill health.  It is commonly known in the medical field that caregivers often stand a high risk of dying before the loved one they are caring for. 

Have a Tough Conversation Using 2 Simple Steps

 

Do you find yourself avoiding people and situations because you know there’s a conversation that needs to take place?  Would you rather do almost anything than face conflict? You are not alone.  Having an uncomfortable discussion with someone can seem like the hardest thing in the world….. but it doesn’t have to be!

The number 1 principle is making sure your conversation contains words and a tone that expresses both TRUTH and LOVE.

Why? Speaking the truth in love:

  • Allows the other party to experience your care and concern for the relationship
  • Creates a safe and non-defensive environment
  • Opens the door for you to comfortably express yourself

 

What’s Keeping You Awake?

 

For many people this can be the norm, but it doesn’t need to be!

A friend recently shared she was experiencing several issues in her life which were causing sleepless nights and much worry.  She was also having difficulty focusing on daily tasks that left her with a large unchecked to do list at the end of the day.  My friend described herself as being exhausted and overwhelmed with no peace.

How is it for you? Worry? Concern over multiple issues?  Overwhelmed?

Coaching tip

Grab a journal or a piece of paper. Create two columns vertically.  In the first column, make a list of all the things that are causing you worry or stress. 

When is the Best Time to Plant a Tree?

 

Recently I stumbled on to an old Chinese Proverb that caused me to stop and think. This proverb says there are two best times to plant a tree.  The first was 20 years ago.

Immediately, my default thinking went to a thread of thoughts that sounded like this……Wow, 20 years was a long time ago.  I guess I missed out.  It’s too late to plant a tree. It will take too long to grow so I can enjoy its beauty and shade.

This got me thinking about the choices I have made in life and the dreams and goals I have yet to accomplish.  It also made me think about how many times I have made excuses for not taking action in order to live the life I desire. 

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